Because of who I'm NOT

Our sermon at Church Sunday was simple,
yet packed with a lot for me to chew on,
on prayer,
Does God listen to my prayers?
Does he listen to what I have to say?
In Luke there's a parable on prayer based on a pharisee and a tax collector,
"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ' God I thank you that I am not like other people- robbers, evildoers, adulterers- or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'
But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ' God, have mercy on me, a sinner".
" I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted."


So bottom line,
Jesus heard and justified the worst of them all, the money steeling, womanizing, drunken tax collector,
simply because he cried out for mercy,
his heart was in a place of humility.
period.
I have always liked to think of myself as a good person,
I never got in much trouble in high school,
I didn't drink,
I didn't smoke,
I didn't hook up with guys,
got my school work done,
I actually LIKED going to church,
I was nice to most people,
I went on mission trips,
I didn't swear,
I went to a christian college,
Dated one guy and married him,
I pay my credit card bill on time,
only had 1 speeding ticket (up until a month ago),
read Christian parenting books,
I go to bible study,
my husband is in ministry,
I make my bed,
take my vitamins,
I tithe,
I could go on......
Now of course I know I am not perfect,
I have my faults
but
As egotistical as it sounds, when it comes down to it,
when I really examine my heart,
I often believe that God would listen and lean into my prayers a little more ( ok, a lot more) than the next guy,
certainly more than someone like the Aurora, CO theatre shooter,
certainly more than friends of mine who live for the next party,
I often feel as if God owes me something for my faithfulness,
because I do ______________ (fill in the blank)
I deserve __________________ (fill in the blank)
but yet if my prayers are ones of entitlement, and self righteousness,
If my heart is in that place,
I am no different than the pharisee,
In the parable, it had nothing to do with the words of each prayer but everything to do with the heart behind each prayer.
I believe God loves me unconditionally,
but do I believe he listens to me unconditionally?
We lose control when we realize we can't convince God of anything.
So I hope my prayers come from a place of sincere humility,
recognition that God is God and I am not.
Because of who I am NOT, God listens to me.